Heav'n has no rage like love to hatred turn'd
Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd
Albert Einstein once said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” I must be out of my mind.

Here’s what I’ve learned from constantly “trying it one more time” with my ex (John Barber). I did it and learn't my lesson but you don’t have to....see if what I write below matches up with your circumstances...

1. There is no “courting” phase, or “honeymoon period.” All the cute stuff he did when he first met you isn’t quite the same the second…or third…or fourth time around. He knows you. He doesn’t need to impress you. He’s not trying to win you over. He isn’t always going to text you first.

2. All those memories you had that you reminisced on when you two broke up…well, you’ve been looking back with rose-coloured glasses. Everything wasn’t as awesome as you thought. He isn’t as funny as you remember. His angry face isn’t as cute as you thought it was. He’s not nearly as understanding. Those small little things he did that only “kinda, sorta bothered you” now grate on your every nerve. You start wondering if you can kill him and make it look like an accident.

3. There are a lot of promises about how “this time, it’ll be different.” It might be…but it probably won’t be, along with The promises that he's changed and there is only one person for him that he loves and always has and will. He never meant to hurt you and his kids blah blah blah - it’s bullshit.

4. You aren’t as tolerant. The same way as how he might not laugh as hard at your jokes is the same way you feel when he talks about how stressful his job is, how his life is so hard, how his family disowned him. At first, you were understanding and supportive. Now you’re rolling your eyes and muttering “get your shit together” under your breath you selfish pig.

5. Every time he doesn’t react how he use to, you’re upset that he’s changed. And every time he does the same shit he used to, you’re upset that he’s still the same.

6. His stupid-ass friends are still around. WHY are they still around? Between the drunks, the pothead, and the guy who think's he's Jesus reincarnated or a werewolf, you don’t even know why your ex hangs out with these losers.

7. His promises of how things will be different “in the future” don’t carry the same weight. It is the future and shit is looking real bleak - just the same as it was before.

8. Your friends don’t want to hear about it any more. You’ve taken him back countless times for years. They’re bored of hearing it. They roll their eyes when you talk. They’ve taken to calling your ex “that prick??”

9. He use to be “the one that I’m going to marry” and slowly, he’s become “I mean…maybe we just aren’t meant to be, you know? If we’re meant to be, we should be happy together. But maybe we’ve grown apart? Like…does he even KNOW me anymore?”

10. Just because you've seen ex's get back together and seen things work out between them and they go on to get married, kids - the whole shabuzzle, doesn't mean you won't ever find your perfect man. My ex and your ex obviously are NOT our perfect man but believe you, me....he's out there!Somewhere!

Exes are important because they teach you things. In each relationship you’ve been in, you’ve learned how to deal with other people, be compassionate, how to put someone else’s needs before your own, and most importantly, what you are and are not looking for in a partner. However, you can’t use any of this knowledge that you worked so very hard for if you’re always reliving the same relationship. So let go. It might be hard at first, but I promise, there’s better and more for you out there. You’re ex isn’t it.

My lovely Valentines Day flowers from John

My lovely Valentines Day flowers from John